by Jonathan Reisman

Last week’s column, Kilowatt Killers, sought to hold the climate alarmists accountable for the expensive and unreliable energy that have inflicted on Maine and the nation. Since the legacy media and the Democratic Party are all in on the climate cult craziness, it is probably a fool’s errand. The Republicans have a few sane folks who have not partaken of the green Kool-Aid, but that, unfortunately, does not include Senator Collins. I hope that the GOP Presidential nominee will mercilessly flog the climate cultists for their policies impoverishing America and violating the separation of church and state while actually doing nothing to address the allegedly existential problem of global warming, but that might be seen as abuse of octogenarians, the infirm and disabled. 

Promoting policies that raise the price of energy, make the electric grid unreliable, and do not actually avert any global warming whatsoever is bad enough. On top of that, we have hypocrisy (private jets and carbon offsets for the alarmists, poverty, and bug diets for the hapless plebes) and outright lies about extreme weather (there is no demonstrable link between the number and intensity of hurricanes and climate change.) You won’t see that in the legacy media, although you are likely to hear exactly the opposite stated or implied by the climate alarmists at Newscenter Maine, the Maine Monitor, the BDN, or the current occupant of the Blaine House. 

In Kilowatt Killers, I threw off a line about how the climate alarmists must want Maine’s electric grid to be expensive and unreliable like California’s. Since I am retired but not retiring, that got my parody pen in gear, and I quickly produced the following gem:

California’s Grid

With apologies to Brian Wilson, Mike Love, and Greta Thunberg

Well, East Coast grids are hip

 I really dig windmills they wear

 And the Southern grid, with the way they spin

 They knock me out when I’m down there

The Midwest solar panels really make you feel all right

 And the Northern grid, when the wind don’t blow

 They keep their backup going all night

I wish they all could be California

 I wish they all could be California

 I wish they all could be California’s grid

The West Coast has the blackouts

 And the EV chargings banned

 I dig a solar array on Hawaiian island shoals

 By a palm tree in the sand

I been all around this great big world

 And I seen all kinds of grids

 Yeah, but I couldn’t wait to get back in the States

 With the best black outs in the world

I wish they all could be California

 I wish they all could be California

 I wish they all could be California’s grid

I shared it with my friend Steve Hayward, who posted it on Powerlineblog.com (The Beach Boys Do Renewable Energy | Power Line (powerlineblog.com), where it generated a little buzz. My retired UMM colleague Gene Nichols told me he was going to sing it at the Cobscook Institute, where I am sure a few climate alarmists regularly meet. One commenter said that parodying the Beach Boys for a right-wing political meme was really beyond the pale. I wonder if my recently granted emeritus status and/or my Statler and Waldorf internship can be revoked for such heinous thoughtcrime.